Who Needs Sleep?
by Spring Zephyr
Summary: Ritsu woke up with the sensation of boulders pressing on his chest. A pair of hands squeezing the air out of his lungs. Illogical as it was, the thought of (that test, that conversation, that social blunder he'd made four years ago) not being able to breathe would not leave his mind, regardless of how many deep breaths he took. Ritshou.


Ritsu woke up with the sensation of boulders pressing on his chest. A pair of hands squeezing the air out of his lungs. Illogical as it was, the thought of (_that test, that conversation, that __social __blunder __he'd made four years ago_) not being able to _breathe_ would not leave his mind, regardless of how many deep breaths he took.

He didn't think he had insomnia. Or sleep apnea, or anything like that. No, because this was a feeling he experienced when he was fully awake.

A distraction. He needed a distraction – like studying? No, he wasn't in the mood for thinking or getting out of bed right now. He reached out, groping blindly for his phone instead, recalling all the times his parents had sighed and said youths these days kept too much of their lives stored on a single piece of technology.

"I'm not reaching for my entire life," Ritsu reminded himself as his fingers curled around the thin, rectangular shape. "Just a part of it."

The part that liked to play mobile games, same as any other kid his age. Or sometimes study. Without thinking, he found himself sending a message to Shou instead – something quick and simple. _I watched that movie you were talking about. I hated it._ There.

Ritsu stared at the screen, wondering why he'd just did that. Then he noticed the time, sitting plainly in the top right corner.

"Only a lunatic would be awake this early in the morning," Ritsu grumbled, fully aware that he'd just categorized himself as such.

His thumb jabbed the "send" button almost angrily.

And his phone _pinged_ with a reply shortly afterwards.

He wasn't in the mood to text, mostly because Shou was never in the mood to correct anything he wrote. Sometimes it was legible. More often, however, it was a tangle of bad grammar, typos, and bad autocorrect that could take up to three full minutes to decipher. So the obvious solution, at this time of night – give him a call instead and keep the volume low.

"You're a lunatic," was the first thing Ritsu said to him.

"Oh. Um. Thanks?"

"But so am I."

Shou sighed, something that Ritsu didn't quite catch, although it sounded a lot like "crap, you're dramatic". Speaking in a way that Ritsu was meant to hear, he continued, "What's up?"

"Me."

Since Shou was clearly not grasping his amazing sense of humor tonight, Ritsu added, "I can't sleep."

"I figured."

Ah, maybe it wasn't so great after all.

"Why can't you sleep?" Shou prompted gently, after a moment.

"Why are you awake this late?"

"I could ask you the same question."

His voice wasn't thick with sleep. He didn't respond slowly or take more time to think than usual, and he'd answered his phone on the first ring mere minutes after answering a message RItsu had just sent. Shou didn't sound tired, not even a little, so it was unlikely he'd just woken up.

"I asked you first," Shou insisted, and Ritsu had to admit he had a point.

"It's stupid," he replied without really answering, because he didn't _have _to tell Shou anything he didn't want to.

He could practically feel Shou rolling his eyes on the other side of town. "I'll be the judge of that."

Lack of sleep must have been clouding his judgement. He'd heard so many repetitions of "talking helps" in his life that he was finally starting to believe it. Just curious to see if that was true. Yeah, that as it. And when you looked past the surface things, he and Shou actually had a lot in common.

On the other hand, he still wasn't stupid enough to offer something without asking anything in return.

"… Fine. But if I tell you, you have to tell me something in return."

"Like what?"

"I don't know," Ritsu admitted. "I'll figure it out – after I tell you. About my thing. It'll probably depend on how you react?"

Shou weighed the circumstances for only a fraction of a second. "All right. Sounds good."

Stupid of him. Since Ritsu could ask for anything he wanted now, and Shou would be obligated to tell him – like they were still grade schoolers? It would be nice if that was how it worked. Then Ritsu could just ask for his dad's credit card numbers or something.

"I don't know why I'm telling you this," Ritsu sighed. "I guess I'm tired… but it's like – have you ever felt like, no matter how hard you try, you could always be doing something better?"

"Never woulda guessed."

"Huh?"

"You're always so in control. You find something you want and you _take_ it, and you don't have to answer to anybody."

Ritsu was shocked. "Is that what you really think of me?"

"Well, yeah. Aside from your brother, I don't think I've seen anyone you're afraid to stand up to."

"There are people," Ritsu insisted.

"Such as?"

The first thing Ritsu thought of was his school's culture festival, when they decided to do that crossdressing cafe and he'd been elected as one of the maids. He hadn't been able to _stand up_ against that.

But they'd promised to never talk about that again. Ritsu preferred it that way.

"…Well, when my mom makes her traditional _shiokara_ recipe passed down from grandma, you'd better eat it or prepared to get grounded for a week."

"Ha! That's hard to imagine – your mom grounds you for being a picky eater?"

"It's mostly Mob that gets in trouble," Ritsu admitted, figuring that hearing that would probably make Shou happy. "Now it's your turn. What's something that makes you nervous?"

_If anything_, Ritsu thought bitterly. It'd be his luck to bare his insecurities to someone who couldn't relate. At least he hadn't told Shou anything too detailed.

"You," Shou replied, a little too easily.

"I'm being serious!"

"So am I!" Shou squeaked. Squeaked? There was a sound he didn't make very often. "As serious as a heart attack! The first time I met you, I wanted to become friends because I thought we had a lot in common. Now I know better, and… and I kind of like that about you, Ritsu. A lot."

"A lot," Ritsu repeated.

Ritsu's breath hitched for a different reason than before. He was now fully awake, and simultaneously still tired, and there was absolutely no way to unhear the implication when it was still echoing in his head.

_A lot._

_ I kind of like that about you, Ritsu._

_ I like you, Ritsu._

_ I like you._

_ A lot._

"I..."

Before Ritsu managed to croak out a reply, Shou piped up, "When you next wake up, you'll think this all was a dream! In fact, forget it. Forget all about it!"

He sounded embarrassed. And he hung up before even giving Ritsu a chance to reply, but the silence on the other side of the phone was nothing compared to the noise in Ritsu's head right now.

Ritsu rolled onto his side, feeling more restless than before. His phone was still clutched in one hand. He was definitely not going to convince himself this was a dream by morning.

He probably wouldn't fall back asleep at all.


End file.
